SeCreTs aRe mEanT tO bE kEpt

My LIFE

2011-01-31T16:43:00.004+08:00

Life was miserable back then. I almost died trying to get myself out of all mess. However, with much support from families and friends, I managed to get things done; the proper way.

I have no idea why I am blogging again. Thanks to Sabeela?

I was reading my previous posts, trying to recall some stuffs. I am not sure what was going on but I don't intend to ask anything further either. It seems that, that moment of time, I was also down with problems with friends? Hmm.. Ouh well.. I tried to recall but I can't remember anything. Maybe for the part where I was hurt because of a friend, but what happened exactly?

People like Indah, Ezzah, Mus, Sab, Jun Jie, Aqilah, Abdillah. I really do appreciate you guys being there for me. Thank you.

Now, I will try to stay at home. Get more rest.

Life

2011-01-31T16:41:00.000+08:00

Life has been great. =)

2010-08-10T10:03:00.007+08:00

It has been MONTHS since I wrote about my life in this blog. This blog brings a lot of memories to me. Not only my blog, but the various blogs I used to visit back then.

That reminds me of a friend that I used to be close with. Being with her, it means alot to me. She used to always be there for me whenever I need her. It was a blessing o have a friend like her. If there is a friend that I would say a true friend, it would definitely be her.

However, due to my rash decisions and being negligent towards her feelings and anger, I lose that friend. I lost. It was painful to have a friend who used to always be with you, fall apart just like that. I definitely admit that I was at fault. Honestly, I have only myself to be blame.

Now, it has been 2 years. I bet she have yet to forgive me. I tried to add her in facebook but it was a negative result. It is ok.

I lost all my confidence making friends. Confidence. All gone. It was terrible. However, never to forget the people who always tried to cheer me up, my Polytechnic friends. They never fail to be there for me.

I started to go to School late. Not going school and even Ponteng lessons. I was never like that. I used to be very discipline. I guess, the friendship affected me so much to the extend that I started to be very rebellious and even tried to cut myself on the wrist and fingers.

So, basically, I lose myself and I lost my life.

The FAIZAH who previously was always very confident and positive, became very negative and definitely, LACK OF CONFIDENCE.

Words changed. "Faizah is the BEST" to "Faizah is the WORST".

I need alot of courage to stand in the limelight now. I used to be very popular but now, I don't. I was so afraid to face the world. It was difficult to stand back on my feet.

Memories. Definitely, it would come back once in a while to haunt me. But what can I do. I will never forget those memories. She helped me alot. Alot. I really appreciate those moments when she was always there for me when I needed someone. Every small details, I really thank her for her efforts, time and concern that she has for me.

So how do I do now?

Still, I lack of confidence. And I wonder who will be that friend who would help me gain back my confidence.

Counsel Me

2010-02-07T20:58:00.003+08:00

I know something that I need and I know what is the problem with me.

But I am not going to say it here.

I totally need a break of everything. Just to do everything that I have been wanting to do. Alot of things are pending in my To-Do List.

To-Do List:

1) BIKE lessons
2) New York

Those are the major ones. I am lazy to type everything out.

Life was so much better now. =)

Anger Management

2010-01-28T20:23:00.004+08:00

I definitely need anger management. =// However, if only my friends could stop making me angry..

I can be very nice to you but once you start being an asshole, then too bad, your life will be miserable when you are with me. Laughing and Joking around with friends, I can do that almost everyday with anyone. If you break that, you are dead. Seriously dead. You will feel so damn bloody guilty that you can never feel comfortable wherever you go. So, please don't be a toot.

Anyway, LIFE was so much better when I started cycling on my own. My own pace. =) It was definitely awesome. =))

Life's Great! (LG) =)))) *Just like my photo above* =))))

Singapore Polytechnic

2010-01-22T12:30:00.003+08:00

It has been definitely a long time since I started blogging. School made me so busy yet a fun place to be at. =)) My life was never better with AWESOME friends surrounding me.

Year 3 is an amazing year where I found new friends. Friends who made me laugh almost everyday. Awesome lecturers who have been very patient with me throughout the year. =)))

I was almost debarred from taking exam for a particular module. After that letter, I told myself to go to school. LOL! Still, I was late. PLEASE. I was 30 minutes to an hour late! LOL! At least I come to school.

I have seen how much I have changed. From a very punctual girl to an undisciplined woman. However, I am more confident of myself now. Boost up confidence to the maximum but not overly confident though. =p I am not a pushover. No one can just push me around this time round. I do what I feel is right, with considerations though.

Having being able to change myself and making new friends, I definitely feel good. =)))) Singapore Polytechnic is definitely an awesome place.

I Love you guys.. =)))

CHANGE IF BLOG ADDRESS

2009-09-02T21:53:00.000+08:00

Alright.. I have change my web blog address..

www.fizkid.wordpress.com

Blogspot not as good now..

Facebook!

2009-09-01T20:23:00.001+08:00

Facebook Stop! Haha! I am so not going in Facebook anymore. Haha.. I hope..

I am so going to take my time find other things to do! Haha.. =))))

Hmm.. Honestly, does anyone know what I like to do or what I really want to do?

Easy.. I want to travel. I want to do something that concern my religion. Just the same approach when I was in Ireland.

Anyway, things are awesome! I miss Sab. Totally. Haha. =)))

2009-08-28T22:07:00.000+08:00

MY SISTER GOT INTO VICTORIA JUNIOR COLLEGE!

Congrats Sistar!.. =)))

Happy for her.. =)))

Alhamdulilah..... Insyallah, things will get better for her.. =)))

Alright, I didn't study today. I am totally screwed ok my dear friends.. =)))

My Supervisor

2009-08-27T20:12:00.000+08:00

Finally, I saw Kak Sikin's email in my email. Although it is a virus, it will only send to me if she opened her email. Hmm.. She is alive and I hope to hear from her soon. Haiz.. I just wished she could acknowledge me again. Haiz..

Bloody Sad Lah!

2009-08-19T21:38:00.000+08:00

I am so so so so freaking sad..

I shall not mention who.. But I am pretty upset with some people.. Haiz..

I shall wait.. I have always been waiting.. I will wait till the very last second..

Didn't ask for anything more than that. Haiz.

2009-08-16T17:12:00.000+08:00

Selamat menyambut Bulan ramadhan everyone..

I haven't been blogging.. hahaha!!

But its good to know that people are reading this blog.

Hmm... Alhamdulilah, Life is so much better for me these days.. Very busy!

Birthday coming up!

2009-08-10T11:06:00.000+08:00

I can't upload photos.. This sucks!

Have been feeling sick since 2 days back. =( Can't go out.

Tomorrow school starts. =( I don't want to go for lessons! SO boring!

I love you!haha.. =p Thanks for reading my blog without tagging! =p

Unwell

2009-08-08T20:09:00.001+08:00

Sick.. Fever and Cough.. Haiz..

Didn't go work today. I can't go fireworks tomorrow. Damn!

Take Care everyone.

Awesome Busy Days =)))

2009-08-03T20:28:00.000+08:00

I have been feeling very tired lately. I am trying my best to get things done properly and as soon as possible. Especially unnecessary stuffs like Gems. Dang it! EGGS!! =p

Alright, I have been really busy with school work. I know things need to be done right now and then. Everything is important now. I really need to buck up. I have to decline lots of offers regarding hanging out and stuffs because I am really packed with school work. I am going to give my best shot!

List of things I need to do:

1) Revising and making notes for my 3 MODULES before 20th August 2009
2) DTN Formal Report by this week
3) DTN Case Study by this week
4) AIA Case Study by this week
5) GEMS Egg by this Thursday
6) Perfumery Datasheet by next Thursday
7) Final Year Project by September. (Please don't think that there is still time coz there isn't)
8) Bike Lessons every week
9) Bike Practicals every week (Not really)

I definitely need my rest. =((( I am so packed with things this week. Totally busy but AWESOME! I miss those days when I was so busy that I could not meet my friends and just focused on whatever things I need to do! =)))) Basically, that is me! I love being busy. =)))

2009-07-31T21:54:00.000+08:00

Due to the virus in my laptop, I can't upload photos or even blog properly. Thus, due to this, I can't blog..

I realised that people do read my blog but they just didn't tag. Cool. I was emailed to have received at least 35 people reading my blog. But I just can't figure out who. Haha! So I hope you guys do tag yeah! Take care people! =)))

Poly 50 photos are awesome. All in Facebook. Too bad I can't upload it here for you guys to see.. =(

Good night and take care!

Tired

2009-07-25T18:11:00.000+08:00

I haven't been blogging because firstly, I was very busy with school and outside stuffs. =)))

Poly 50 is in the coming wednesday! Jia You everyone! =)))

I have lots of appointments to make. New York Skin Solution, __________ and others.

School have been very tiring. =( Exams schedule already OUT! STresS!

I am seriously behind time. Need to get my rest. Bye people. Take care.

Oh yah, Don't rush me. I have lots of things to do.

Thinking of you is one of them. Take care my dear friend.

VERY TIRED

2009-07-16T20:28:00.003+08:00

I have been feeling very tired. I want to get my rest.

SOKA POLY 50

2009-07-15T21:08:00.004+08:00

ERIC telling us that we altogether 10 TEAMS for SOKA. 7 SOKA teams and 3 SOKA Alumni. =))))))
The Guy I like... Blue shirt.. He is a malay also running for SOKA. =))) Over the moon. =p

THE SOKA CHEER!! *clap clap* HAI O! *clap clap*

This guy sharing what he studied from the famous President Ikeda.

CHARLIE and ISMAN (the guy I like) listening attentively to what was shared. =)))

Everyone was very tired after running.

WEI WEN!!! HE IS SO SO FRIENDLY! He was the one who cheered all the way for me.. =))))

I was trying to take a photo of ISMAN.. hahaha..

I can't run jus now.. HAha. Running tomorrow. =)) I LOVE TODAY. =p

HAPPY!

2009-07-12T19:41:00.001+08:00

Alright, Happy Me. =p

Work.

Met up with Fadhilah, Fasha, Nisah n boyfriend, ismail, huda.

Alright. Happy.

UPDATE!!

2009-07-11T16:44:00.004+08:00

Alright. I am feeling so much better now after letting everything out of my chest yesterday. I say it all. I am proud of myself.

It just feels so great to tell someone the problems I am facing. I am pretty sure that I can do this. Especially when someone else who have the same problem as me, overcomed it. I can do it too!! Jia You! I am happy now.

Although you make me teared for almost 10 months now, I am pretty sure I have never come to think of your faults. Haha. Only yesterday, I realised that I am not alone.

Thank you Chu Zen ans Sister Siew Hoon. I really appreciate what you have done for me and I am sure your good deeds will come back to you.

For once, I really let go of what I feel, knowing someone would be there ready to listen without me hesitating to say what I feel. Thank you.

THEY SAY: Secondary School will be the place you enjoy the most throughout your education life.

However I beg to differ. I find that Polytechnic is the best. Definitely, it is because of the friends I have. 3 YEARS OF MY LIFE, ALL MY FRIENDS ARE CHINESE except for one, Nurul Jannah which I had known for only 2 or 3 months. They have been lovely.

Special thanks to Janice, Chuzen and Mui Hoon. You guys sure make my world a better place. I will never forget what you guys had done for me. Not only to the 3 names I have mentioned but also, definitely, my classmates and Dennis and whoever I knew in POLY.

Why??

2009-07-08T20:55:00.001+08:00

I am sad.

Difficult to cover them but I did it.

Thanks to Chuzen Janice and Friends.

ALL LOST!

2009-07-07T22:39:00.002+08:00

I AM SO LOST! Why am I still like this?

For a moment, I thought I have moved on. But the next moment, things just change!! WHY?!

I did so much for you. Haiz. I really miss you. Thinking of you makes me feel so down. Really down. But I can't stop thinking of you. Definitely not. So much happened.

I need help.

Absolutely no rest

2009-07-06T20:28:00.003+08:00

I will be working till late night. I won't even have time for my ownself. All the best to me. It would be a drastic change that I have to bear.

Bye People.

MST over

2009-07-03T18:14:00.004+08:00

A week of MST has gone. =)) Celebration. =p

A lot of things went through my mind. About people, about graduation, about work and others. I am not really sure what is wrong but just so many things to think about.

Kinda feeling down today. Not sure why. Maybe I was thinking of you. I really do love you. Haiz. I should just forget it.

Take care People. especially during this period.

Bike and Cars and Starbucks

2009-06-29T16:26:00.003+08:00

I went to school with a different transport today.

Then went out with Fadhilah, Huda and Ismail. =)) Talked about cars and Bikes. =)))

I know I got so much time. Although knowing I don't. I need to buck up!

Starbucks is definitely something that I enjoy. Never fail to make me smile despite being alone. It cools me down. Maybe the drink is just too sweet for me not to smile. Starbucks can do wonders in my life. Maybe only for that particular moment only but it sure did make me forget everything for that moment. I enjoyed it. =)))) I am not promoting starbucks but I would rather say Starbucks is somewhere people can enjoy their lives without any worries. I wonder how they did that. =))) The people who served us too, plays a part. Thank you! =)))

Updating Pictures & Poly 50

2009-06-27T14:28:00.008+08:00

I went for SOKA Poly 50 again today. It was fun!! Haha.. =))) Full of encouragement. People were all very sporting. =)) I was forfeited during a game with my team and we had to dance the chicken dance NENG ZHENG's (I think this is the correct spelling for his name) version. Haha!! =p Anyway, overall it was fun. I had lunch with them and went back home straight after that. =)))

If I am not wrong, Soka is another religion. Despite the difference in religion, I wasn't treated any different. Everyone is everyone meaning everyone is the same. That is what motivated me to come down for their training. =))) They respect other people's values and religions and that is what I respect them for. =))) Most important thing!! I MADE MORE FRIENDS. =)) Thanks Chuzen. =)))

The people who went for SAKURA PTN. =)) I ate a lot. =p

BELOW ARE 2 PICTURES OF MY PRIMARY SCHOOL FRIENDS; held at Ehub. =))) I had to leave early and these are the bunch of people that I meet only. =((

End of photos. =))) There are more but there is no way am I going to upload all of them. TOO MANY!!! I will try to take some pictures of SOKA training.

FUN AGAIN

2009-06-24T21:27:00.002+08:00

Alright, my laptop have been re-formatted...=)))

Guess what?! I ran today!! =)) I was feeling so happy lah!! The people are definitely great. Their religion is SOKA I think and mine is a MUSLIM. They NEVER treat me differently. In fact, I love what they had share which is very general although it is from a BUDDHIST book I think. Anyway, we had some sharing and we ran, which is the best part of today.

After which, I went to re format my laptop. =))) All done. Today is a happy day. =)) I love today. Everything is updated.

These few days, I have been having fun. Tomorrow, I am running again to boost my stamina, getting ready for POLY 50. Hehe..

OK! Done updaed. MST next week. Studying tmr. =)))

Good night PeepS!

EAST COAST PARK gathering

2009-06-18T20:56:00.002+08:00

ChuZen and Me

It was definitely fun for me! Not only the both of us, the people who went East Coast Park today with me were

Janet, Yinghui, Jacyln, Xin Yi, Xiangrui, ChengWai, Jackson, Poh Siah, Wei Lang, Yiurong.

We went cycling and some of them roller blading. ChuZen, me and Xiangrui went ahead first from Macdonalds till Bedok Jetty. It was so fun!! =)) Knowing myself who loves cycling, I really enjoyed my day cycling.

After which, we went Simpang Bedok to eat. =))) I ate nasi goreng with egg. =)))) I will try to upload more photos when I have the time.

Alright, time to rest. =))) Take care people.

Today was definitely good. =))))

Words of love

2009-06-15T12:04:00.006+08:00

I saw these "Love Quotes" in a friend's website.
When I read these quotes, I only think of only,
..........YOU.........

How 'bout a chance? I am cool. =p LOL!

Scheduling and Napha Test

2009-06-11T16:02:00.005+08:00

It has been a long time since I blogged I think.

Anyway, things have been going great for me. I am getting fatter. Trust me on that. I have been eating a lot. Lol.

I need to exercise and run man. I need to. Badly. Napha test coming. Dead.

I am getting better now. Things are going smoothly. I don't know why you didn't really affect me much although I do think about you sometimes.

Nicely done Faizah. Datasheets and Reports done! Except case study! Dang it!

I am happy. Let me be. =p

My Schedule for the next 2 weeks. =))))

Friday - 12th June - Work
Saturday - 13th June - Work
Sunday - 14th June - Work

Monday - 15th June - Have yet to plan where to go
Tuesday - 16th June - GO SCHOOL FOR FYP
Wednesday - 17th June - GO SCHOOL FOR FYP
Thursday - 18th June - Going cycling with the Classmates

Friday - 19th June - BBQ PIT Gathering with Fadhilah and Friends / Doing Gems module with Chuzen, Nuan Qin, Muihoon and Leanna / Going out with Primary School Friends
(Help me choose)*All seems important though

Saturday - 20th June - Work
Sunday -22nd June - Work

Monday - 23rd June - STUDY FOR MST
Tuesday - 24th June - Class Gathering
Wednesday - 25th June - STUDY FOR MST
Thursday - 26th June - STUDY FOR MST
Friday - 27th June - STUDY FOR MST
Saturday - 28th June - Work
Sunday - 29th June - Work

Don't ask me where I am working. Thankx. =p
I am really busy now. Lol.

ANyone wants to train with me for Napha test?? =)))

Bill not paid

2009-06-06T18:20:00.001+08:00

I can't reply any text msgs. I am sorry.

POLICE!

Holidays

2009-06-05T22:22:00.003+08:00

Holidays coming!! In fact, HOLIDAYS ARE HERE!! YAY!!

It means to have fun for the first 2 weeks.

Revision for the last week.

Already had plans actually. My holidays are not fully booked yet. Haha!

I am going Sentosa, out with my primary school friends, out with Aminah, going Botanic Gardens with FYP group members, datasheets, Final Year Project, Skin treatments, dental treatments, blood donation.

I think, 2 weeks, NOT enough!! Haha!! Or it might be just nice. It is time to have fun!! No work and just fun! =))))

Alright, I am so excited! I am just hoping that I wont get sick or I have lots of clashes. Hmm...

I believe, uite a number wants to go out on the 13th!! ALL!! Sentosa, Aminah, Skin treatments, dental treatments. Everything at one go?! NO!!! I cancelled Sentosa and Aminah. LOL!

Ouh well. Haha.. I am happy. and leave me this way ok. =))))

Take care people.

Joy or Upset

2009-06-03T23:04:00.002+08:00

I am not sure how to describe today.

My pay came today. Shall not talk about that now.

Went to meet Fasha and Aisya first.

Then meet Aisha and her sister. Aisha, her sister and me watched movie. Monsters VS Aliens.

Fasha and Aisya watched Night at the Museum II.

Coincidentally, met Din and Fad. They watched the same movie as the 3 of us. Didn't realise there were there till Aisya saw them when we were about to get down from the escalator.

Reached home, heard from my mum, my grandmother's sister's husband make his last breathe today, 6 am in the morning.

So I am happy that I get to meet up with friends after some time but I am sad to have a family member of mine leaving this world.

Mood swing. I am not sure if I had done the right thing. SOrry.

I miss you. Badly.

Im bAck

2009-05-30T23:16:00.002+08:00

Faizah is back! Take care and she is just right up there.

I am obsessed with this photo, my photo. Lol.

Sarangheyo.

2009-05-29T20:03:00.002+08:00

Happy as can be. I had the most laughters today, this week. =)))

Muihoon, Leanna, Chu Zen, Nuan Qin. Lol!

Alright, nothing much today. Just laughters.

Extremely bad

2009-05-28T22:50:00.005+08:00

Today was horrible. Although I manage to do my datasheet together with my group, I wasn't feeling that well. In fact, I wasn't feeling well.

I am totally worn out. TOTALLY. I can't afford to cycle, I can't afford to sit down and continue my report and I can't afford to do anything basically. However, I am like forcing myself to continue and all. I am very very tired. I need rest.

I just don't want you to appear. That's it. Your appearance gave me a huge impact only because I still care. If I don't see you, it would be better because I won't have to go through so much disappointments.

Sunhaj was there again. Thanks Sunhaj. =)))) 2nd guy in this entry.

The first guy in this entry.. Shall update about him next time.

Damn Tired

2009-05-25T23:34:00.000+08:00

I hope tomorrow will be a good day. Hopefully. Thanks.

No boundaries

2009-05-24T18:53:00.002+08:00

I have been listening to the song 'No boundaries' by Kris Allen. I love his version of the song. Although I find that the song/tune/rhythm from the bridge to the chorus does not link, it wa not as bad as Adam Lambert's. I find that Adam's version of the song is too much of the high notes. High pitches. Hate it.

Kris Allen rocks. However, Adam Lambert's voice is so powerful. I love his voice too.

When I know things

2009-05-23T13:26:00.003+08:00

I don't know how but I can somehow predict things that are going to happen. I won't say that all of my predictions came true but most of them I guess.

An example would be:

I could feel that my friend is in the train and when I turn, she is there.

These kind of things happened which I believe not only me, gives me the scares. There are just so much for me to say about that but I just don't know how to say it here.

I can even feel that someone is going to text me. Definitely, I don't know who but I can feel that a message is going to send to me. Lol. I know it sounded ridiculous. But, ouh well. I don't expect people to believe me also. However, I am sure that there are some others out there felt the same way as how I do.

Anyway, for me, I just know what is happening and all. People do tell me about things. Well, I don't ask most of the time but I admit I do ask about stuffs that concerns me or my dearest friends. An example would be graduation day.

Haiz, nothing in this world bothers me unless it bothered my dearest friends. I don't wish to care about anything unless it concerns my dearest friends.

Sorry, I just want to be with you.

Now I am going to do my report.

SAB's help

2009-05-22T20:46:00.003+08:00

I went to Sabeela's house yesterday till late night. Need her help for my Gems, Design Appreciation. She is damn good, I tell you! Show the pictures later. =)))

Still, I need to re do.. The lecturer say she don't want any base. Idiot.

Anyway, Graduation Day for my dearest friend is coming. I hope to see her. I really do.

I hurt myself again. Cut myself with scissors. Lol. Although it didn't let me forget everything till now, it let my anger, frustrations, disappointments and everything go away for that particular moment.

I thought you will always there like you PROMISED. Haiz. I wish I could just tell you how much I miss you, my friend.

Badminton is the IN THING for me now. I want to play badminton badly. BADLY!

It feels great

2009-05-19T21:55:00.003+08:00

It feels great when you are hurt

It feels great when you know your friends care

It feels great when you see your friend but you couldn't say 'Hi'

It feels great when you have reports due soon

It feels great when I got to know you

It feels great when I got to hold you

It feels great when I miss you

It feels great when I listen to your favourite songs

It feels great when I see your photos unknowingly

It feels great when I keep thinking of you after that

It feels great when I get to **** you.

Now I understand how it feels. Sorry. I can't stop thinking of you. I just need you to say 'Hi'.

VIDEO BY JUNJIE

2009-05-13T16:10:00.003+08:00

My favourite video. =)))

Its good.

2009-05-12T21:45:00.002+08:00

Today was not that bad.

Although the morning started bad with mum nagging.

However, as time passes by in school, everything seems fine.

After which I arranged to meet with Sunhaj at Pasir Ris Macdonald's.

Had a good chat with him after a long time.

We did have a good laugh about stuffs.

It was fun. =)))

Cool Stuffs.

It ended good.

I love today. =)))

Sick

2009-05-11T20:31:00.004+08:00

I didn't go to school today because I don't want to.

Stayed at home the whole day.

I am damn tired.

I just want to sleep.

Now I am not feeling well.

Feeling very sick.

Hope I would be fine by tomorrow.

Good night people.

I love you.

Realized

2009-05-10T22:53:00.002+08:00

When I read back our conversations, our time was spent mostly talking about school work.

I was very selfish.

Time was spend literallly talking about either work or school.

Argued about the unnecessary.

You promised you won't leave.

That is all I need..............

That is..........

simply... Your Promise....

For the 8th Month,

I am sorry.

I know you can forgive me but not forget. [Typical girls]

I was wrong.

Total regrets.

My love

2009-05-10T00:14:00.002+08:00

bOys oVer fLoweRs coMinG soOn...

LisTeninG tO tHeir sOnGS agAin aNd agAin.. =)))

I want to run away.

Quit School.

How is that?

Lol. So funny.

=)))

I quit

2009-05-09T00:12:00.003+08:00

I quit.. I quit my life.

Its useless.

You stabbed me deep in my LIFE.

No one can see it.

No one can feel it.

No one understand it.

Past is what I can't forget.

Future is what I am aiming.

Now, I am suffering.

Enough is enough.

You leave.

I leave.

LEAVE MY WORLD.

Only because of a FRIEND.

Please.

Let me live.

I quit.

Everything is cool now

2009-05-04T22:37:00.000+08:00

Everything has calm down now.. I am feeling cool.. =)))

Today is damn nice. Azirah's blog made me smile. Lol. So funny. =)))

Masjid Al-Istighfar

2009-04-30T13:04:00.002+08:00

Finally, I get to use my legs for a purpose. Good Purpose that is.

I went to Masjid Al Istighfar a few days back with Aisya. I get to step in the masjid, finally, properly. I did went once to the masjid alone but somehow I lost my way while trying to find where was the office. Not only did I get to look around in the masjid, I did prayed too. =)) Solat Asar. Thank you Aisya for that. Alhamdulilah, I get to do what I have been wanting to do.

I have been avoiding all my friends. Preventing myself from going out. Knowing that if my friends were to ask me out, I would sure to get myself involve in their activity. So, in order to get rid of those nafsu that I am having, I changed everything that has got to do with me.

Like I have typed in my previous entry, I have changed my blog address, handphone no., and my email too. I do not wish to go online and chat with people or vice versa. I don't want to rely on anyone. I have this habit of relying on people. Not being independent. So now, I shall be independent. I will do things with my own effort. =))))

Although I know that some of my friends are innocent, I have no choice but to do what I am suppose to do. Only because I want to change badly and this is my chance to prove that I am better in every way. I want to change and lets pray that Faizah can make it successfully. Insyallah. Amin.

My time is uP?

2009-04-27T20:19:00.003+08:00

Yesterday night was horrible. I could not sleep. The feeling was totally different yesterday. It was as though my time is up. It is as though I will die anytime soon. The feeling, gave me warnings. Something that I have never felt before. Is this going to happen anytime soon? Is this real?

Well, I guess I should just do something good from now onwards. I can't possibly do anything wrong especially when this feeling made me not able to sleep well.

I am too pressurized with things around me. I prefer to be alone where there are no competitions. I shall and WILL avoid all my friends whom did not give me any moral or physical support to keep on going religiously.

I redha. If I have to leave, I will leave. But I hope Allah could give me some time to get myself back on track. I want to taubat. I want to do things that can make Allah love me. I love Allah. I will only rely on HIM. Only HIM! ONLY ALLAH!

ALLAHUAKHBAR! Ya Allah, kau lah maha memahami and maha pengampun. Ampunilah dosa dosa ku ya ALLAH. Ya allah, semoga kau dapat tenangkan fikiran ku. Amin.

2009-04-27T00:06:00.003+08:00

I am very upset with all my friends. I need to change everything so that I can change myself.. =))

So now, I have a new mobile number - 82339183

new blog - www.drumscool1.blogspot.com

new email - kid_faizah@live.com

Everything changes.. and I shall change.. =)))

CLOSING BLOG

2009-04-25T23:21:00.001+08:00

Haha! I am going to close my blog very soon. =))

Live with it

2009-04-24T23:41:00.019+08:00

She said -

Sometimes you just do not know why you feel so stress out or rather you are not sure what was your problem.

I totally agree with her. I can't say more.

Maybe, what these people who feel this way

should just sit on the rails of the highest bridge and

cool themselves down with the best wind that they never had,

spreading their arms

and free themselves

from those unwanted or unnecessary problems

that entered their lifes or

that people have caused.

Life is like that.

Let you talk and shall let others talk.

Don't think that you know me because no one in this world knows who I am. Neither do I.

The last thing that you want to see me do is to SIT there. Sorry.

I wished I could be with you and simply just YOU.

He said -

What these people need was just a few words...... "I will help you....."

Ever wondered the miracle of words which can save lives?

I was hoping that those words would come ALIVE. Just hope.

Randomness within me.

Maybe starbucks can HEAL.

Stayed at home

2009-04-22T21:29:00.000+08:00

Since the practical was cancelled, there are no other reasons for me to attend school today. Haha!

However, I did try to do my report. The lecturers already starting to bug us with reports and the due dates.

I did my house work in the morning and in the afternoon, I went out cycling with my youngest brother. =))) We cycled from Sungei Api Api till Pasir Ris Park. We cycled a few rounds before we head back home. =)) Had a great time cycling. =)) I missed cycling.

I ate a lot today. I mean it. Its a lot. I ate Rice in the morning, then chocolates, then Mee Soto, then chocolates, then biscuits, then Mee Soto again, then Biscuits again. Damn FaT!

I wasn't feeling too good that is why. I shall not elaborate further.

Need to take a good photo of myself. Will tell you guys what I mean once the photo is taken. =)))

why?

2009-04-21T19:17:00.000+08:00

Why is it so difficult when I know the answer? Why is it that I still choose to be this way when I know what is right for me?

Why was I running away from you when I did nothing wrong? Was I running away from the fact of not wanting to get hurt? What was I thinking?

I really feel like drinking STARBUCKS. The only way to make me feel good about everything.

Things are going well

2009-04-18T14:00:00.000+08:00

Can't UPLOAD PHOTOS because I am using another account. My laptop is iving me problems again! Damn it. =p

Well Done Faizah! =)))

Faizah is getting better. She is getting wiser when choosing her options/choices..... I guess. =)))

Alright, I might be a bit possessive when it comes to what belongs to me. However, things change. I changed. I tend to care less about the tings that is around me. Letting go of the things or people around me, makes me feel that I have more freedom to think for myself rather to think of people who are not worth thinking.

I want to change for the better.

To someone in Ireland:

SALAM,

I am glad to know that you have been constantly reading my blog. I appreciate it. =)) Thank you for the comment. I will try to upload more photos if I have the time. Knowing me, I have difficulties finding time to upload my photos. I didn't know that you are having problems with your "attacks" (rather not mention what is it). It shocked me for a while. However, do take care of yourself. It is good to know that you are getting better. =)) Alhamdulilah. I didn't know I would make such an impact to you. But still, thanks for everything too. I was wondering & very curious.. What do you mean by I am not within the normal group of people? Haha. Am I weird?? Haha.. I believe that those who walk alone experience more than others and they are the ones who will succeed believing in themselves rather than having other people to disrupt their lives. I might be wrong in some ways, but it is just my opinion on stuffs. Take care always.

I will be getting very busy with school so, I guess, less update. Haha.

Final Year Project is getting me very busy. =(( I want to drink STARBUCKS.

At home

2009-04-16T23:25:00.003+08:00

I was at home the whole today because I wasn't feeling that well. I intended to go school today but Jack and Dennis told me not to. Haha.

Time flies fast. Tomorrow is the ultimate day. Although it is just another meeting, it is not to me. Just imagine being in my shoes. Having to meet upper hand people. You are not sure whether what you are doing is right or wrong. Not sure what to say or how to answer to those questions.

This is a short conversation between me and a friend of mine.

Catherine: I feel different talking to you now.
Faizah: In what sense?
Catherine: The first time I met you, you were so cheerful. Now, you don't seem to be like that anymore.
Faizah: Haiz..

Tomorrow I will be meeting Sab and Tira. =))) I hope things go well.

The last thing I want to do is to make the smiles turn to frowns. I know that my frowns can turn a few others' smiles to frowns. Definitely. I hope not.

Botanic gardens

2009-04-15T21:47:00.008+08:00

Found this photo in Reena's blog. Cool.

Jackson, Dennis and me went to Botanic Gardens today. In relation to our Final Year Project. We went to eat at the foodcourt there first then proceed to the Library to get more information on the plants or flowers especially Vanda Miss Joaquim. Finally, we headed down to the gardens to smell the scent that the flowers gave out.

I have uploaded all the photos. Today, however, was not a good day for me. I can barely open my eyes. I didn't sleep yesterday and I keep rubbing my eyes. Only Mum, Dennis and Jackson knew how bad my eyes were. Seriously, it was bad.

This is a photo of a fake lizard a.k.a Jessie

As you can see, there are 3 lizards in total. One of which is mention. The rest of the 2 lizards are a.k.a Dennis & Jackson.

This is a photo of Lizard's family. I don't know what it is called. But this is a.k.a Christine. =)))

This is a picture of a tortoise. Damn! Jackson & Dennis officially said that this is a.k.a FAIZAH!

This dead fish is a.k.a DENNIS!! HAha!! He is dead. =)))

This picture looks like komodo dragon. Ouh well, I called this komodo dragon, JACKSON!!

The cool house is definitely NOT cool at all! So HOT!

THE BOTTOM PHOTOS: Flowers that I took at the Garden. More photos of the flowers are in Jack's and Dennis's phone.

Dennis Faizah Jack. I did not close my eyes. My eyes was not feeling well. Lol. I wasn't feeling well today. So yeah.

Jack?? Haha.. Low over hang. I can't remember this joke.

I really look retarded in this photo. Jack too. Haha. Dennis is fine. He declined the offer on taking photos with us but eventually, took alot.

The Photos at the bottom: LONELY SWAN!! Too bad.. =(((

You can barely see my eyes. Lol.

Damn Bored

2009-04-14T10:51:00.004+08:00

I am feeling too upset/disappointed to do anything. I am officially EMO again. Me and my fake smile. Damn it. PARANOID!

Jessie Tong came today to meet me up. There were some issues being brought up. I will need to prepare myself for this friday. Change of plans.

Monday - Went for the meeting in the morning then went back to work with Dennis and Jackson then went home straight to sleep. I was feeling very tired. Was suppose to meet Fadhilah and friends. But didn't.

Tuesday - Went to work in School. Met up with Jessie Tong to talk. Going for the SPICE thingy instructed by Ho Thiam Aik. Going out with Fadhilah and friends today.

Wednesday - Botanic Garden.

Thusday - Going work then meeting sab (maybe)

Friday - Going work then meet Jessie Tong again then go meet sab (DEFINITELY).

Saturday & Sunday - Rest. Research and others.

I can't believe my name is very popular among the lecturers. I hope that this would turn out good.

Tight Schedule

2009-04-13T00:29:00.008+08:00

I love my tight schedule. =)))

Monday - Meeting with Ho Thiam Aik in the morning & will be having Lunch with Wenkai, Jack, Dennis and others & meeting Jessie Tong in the afternoon & Going Fad's house to play!! =)))

Tuesday - Doing FYP research with Dennis and Jack. Might go out with Wenkai and the rest to shop or dinner.. =)) see how.

Wednesday - Go Botanic Garden with Jack and Dennis.. Might be meeting people up to pass the souveniors.

Thursday - Going out with Sab. (Maybe) Find Job.

Friday - Going out with Sab. (Definitely)

Saturday - Stay at home. Rest. Do research.

Sunday - Stay at home. Rest. Do research. The next day start school. =)))

I just love my schedule/day table. But once school reopen, I know it is going to be so hectic. I hope I will have time to go out with friends. =))))

I am wondering.. What will happen during Jessie Tong's lesson..................... Never mind.

When I think of "NAME", the next person I would like to think of is Dennis. After what he had done for me, he is just the sweetest. Who would stay with you for 3 hours just for you to do a check up? Definitely, Karen and Sabeela were on the phone with me to ask my well being. =))

The "NAME" made a huge impact on me but I will not get that name destroy me when I have friends who tried their best to make me forget those painful memories. I will not let them down. I did a good reflection when I was in Ireland. I shall get it out.

Even Lecturers like Jessie Tong and Ong Chin Choon cared for my well-being. =)))

Dennis woke up at 7 in the morning just to listen to my craps when I was in Ireland. I can't ask for more.

New blogskin

2009-04-11T00:47:00.003+08:00

My new blogskin. Something new.

Bray, Dublin

Trinity College Library, Dublin

Harry Potter's Library (Some sort)

GOING HOME

2009-04-07T05:06:00.003+08:00

YAY!! I am going home tomorrow. You have no idea how happy I am currently. I really want to go home and have a good day in Singapore. With NOTHING to worry about. Unlike here, I have to beware of drunkkards and mostly drunkards!! Every corner of Dublin is a pub, so, I guess, iit is common to have drunkards all around you. =(((

I even dream of my mum!! So, you can roughly know how much I miss home. Haha!! =))) I really can't wait to go home. I wish I could just fly there.

I would like to express my greatest gratitude to all the malaysians and muslim people I have met here in Dublin for all their help, dinner, lunch and basically free foods. Haha. Not only that, one of my friends name PRIMROSE from Zimbabwe, she bought for my mum perfume. My another Malaysian friend named KERY bought for me a shirt and a soft toy. The people here are very sweet. I enjoy my time spend with them.

Alright, I am done updating here. Now is 10.18pm.

I must go to school the next day once I reach Singapore because I have to start my research already for Final Year Project. I will be working with National Tourism Board and a German Company as what was told by Dennis. I am looking forward to this big project and wish me success. Definitely 100% effort. There are risks here and there. So, it would be a bit difficult to get a distinction. However, nothing is impossible.

I have to really squeeze my things in my luggage. THE TEMPTATION OF BUYING MORE STUFFS FOR MY FAMILY WAS SO STRONG THAT I TOLD MYSELF I DO NOT HAVE ANYMORE SPACE.. Like really tell myself I don't have space!! =((((

Photos?? Will be uploaded when I reach singapore. Hahaha!!

Days at ireland

2009-03-29T04:17:00.003+08:00

I am very happy today. Went to Howth with Hui Shuen, Hwee Sze, Bernard, Hwee Ming, Reena, Jeanette and Lexter. we walked for more than 4 hours there. YES!! WALK!! =))

We walked from Griffith College (Our accomodation) to the city centre. We then took the train froom Tara Station to Howth. Reached Howth around 12.30pm if I am not wrong. We then walked and threw stones. They had their lunch there too. We walked around the coastal area then wee went up to the Summit. At the Summit, I felt so calm. It is a very beautiful view from the top. I love those kind of nature. Really. =))) If I could, I would stay there and do a good reflection and just think of myself and just have peaceful moments alone. I love it. =)))

Last week, I went to Bray, and it is very beautiful. Love it. =)))

Photos will be up soon. It will be in Links definitely. The link for previous photos are at the previous previous entry. =)))

I love you FRIENDS.

2009-03-25T06:57:00.010+08:00

"If I didn't meet you, I won''t have gone to Singapore Polytechnic. If I had not gone to Singapore Polytechnic, I won't get to meet people like Hui Shuen"

My friend told me this and when I come to think about it, well, yes it is true in a way. I didn't think till that extend.

I am seriously upset about what has happened between me and my friend. I really do and I did a very good reflection of what I had done and all and to make sure that it doesn't repeat. However, I took it so seriously that I have problems socializing with people because I was too afraid that I might hurt another party and that party might just leave like how my friend did. It is difficult for me to pick myself from the start.

I was told that it would be insane if I say that I have problems socializing. It was my fault for having this to happen to myself. I asked for it, so take it!

I am not brooding about the past. I didn't. Just need a good close up of what was my problem.

Now about my OITP:

I am happy here. Trying to talk to the people here. I am very afraid but I will try my best. Hui Shuen had been very nice to NOT ignore me. Haha. Although she didn't really talk to me, she never fail to be there for me. NEVER. I really have to thank her for that. At last, when she talks to me, she smile. Although she don't do that often, well, at least, she did that. Haha. =)) I feel that Hui Shuen treat me differently from the others. Sometimes, I feel as though she wants to talk to me but she just wouldn't want to open her mouth. Haha!!

LINKS FOR PICTURES ARE AT THE PREVIOUS ENTRY.

No matter what, no one can replace my dearest friend, Liyana. No one can ever take her place. She will always be the one dearest to me. Besides my family and never to forget Allah that is. I know the friendship between me and Liyana currently is NOT LIKE FRIENDS at all. But the only reason I feel that she is worth that place is because, she never fail to make things that is best for me. I really appreciate that. I really love her a lot. Like how I care for my closest friends, that is how I care for her till now, maybe more. Liyana means a lot to me. Every now and then, I do think of her and Kak Sikin, wondering whether they are feeling any better and all. Liyana is one in a million. I can talk about Liyana throughout this entry. I feel like doing it. But I shall just make it a private one. Haiz.

Subsequent people would be people like: ...........

Haha.. I won't want to say names.

Alright.. Going off to sleep now.. It is already 11.30pm here in Ireland.

2009-03-24T06:58:00.003+08:00

Alright.. Updates:

Photos.. You can view at these website below..

http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/khairjaafar2027/ToBRAYWithFaizahSha22Mac09#
http://picasaweb.google.com/LHSHUENY

The first website shows only one place that I went recently. I went to Bray.. Check it out. I climbed the cliff. Nice view.. =)))

The second website.. My friend's website.. I might not be in there but those were the places that I went with them.. Haha.. My photos still in my computer.. You guys can wait.. haahaha...

2009-03-18T07:50:00.005+08:00

I Love this Picture so much only because of my hair.

I Know people are crazy about my hair!! haha!!! =))))

I said this because I receive a lot of good comments about it!! Yay!! =)))

I NEED TO GET OVER IT!! =))))

I know how.. =))

Muslim Society

2009-03-14T19:36:00.003+08:00

I am very happy that I get to meet a few muslims people here in Ireland. Alhamdulilah. I have learned quite a number of things here. Not only academically but also religiously. I am very embarassed when I met this lady who wear the scarf. I felt so embarassed that I even thought to myself what I was doing all this while. It made me think a lot and I have made to a decision that no one can stop me from doing the things that I should do RIGHT. If I have done something wrong, it is quite obvious that I need my parents' advice and all.

I might not like what had happened here in Ireland but definitely for sure I never regret meeting the Muslim Society in Ireland. I am even proud to say that I am a Muslim. A lot of questions that have yet to be answered. I know I am being very religiously religious. But don't worry, faizah is still the same only that within her, she has change and will change for the better. I hope. Insyallah.

Alhamdulilah, everything have been going well. I will upload my photos now.. =)))) I know people have been waiting for that.

I know my hair is very ugly only because the wind was very strong. I was at wicklock Mountain. MOUNTAIN!!! =)) got snow.. hehe..

I was at St Stephen Green Park. The flowers are fake I think. Haha.. Because the trees are all dead at this season and how can flowers bloom?? Hahah!!

That is a Swan at the back. Haha! I don't know what it is doing but for sure its mouth is at the butt! hahah!!

The 2 ladies I met in Ireland. They are not Muslims but they were the ones who showed me around..

The two ladies here. On the left side, is a student who is studying in DIT from Belgium. =)) And the centre lady is Hwee Ming's Supervisor.

UPDATE

2009-03-11T01:29:00.003+08:00

UPDATE: Anyone who wants to know what I have been doing all this while, you can go to this website. My friend's web blog will tell u wat we did. I don't have the time to update./ Sorry. Thanks for the understanding.

http://amillionsmilez.wordpress.com/

Excited

2009-03-06T14:47:00.002+08:00

Alright.. Now I am updating.. Here in Dublin the time is 6.48am on the 6th of March 2009.

I am too lazy to calculate the time difference. Lol. So I think I shall just leave it to you guys to calculate.. =p

Alright.. Down here.. It is very cold. It might be snowing next week. So, I have to wear layers of clothing. Ermm... For your information, I didn't wear my winter clothings and yet I could survive the cold outside my apartment. BUT.. I did wear my sweater though. =))

I won't want to say what I did during my attachment because it might cause some unpleasant understanding and jealousy. HAHA!!! I changed my mind.. Guess what.. My OITP.... I need to go school for 3 and 1/2 days per week only... Lol.. HAHA!!! So cool right.. And I need to study for 6 hours only.. 3 hours Reasearch, 1 and 1/2 hours BREAK, and continue 3 hours of research again. EVERYTHING PASS BY SO FAST. No kidding.

Now is my second day attached to the school. Lol. VERY SLACK!! I am starting to love this place because the people are boring and they never smile. (It is up to you to figure out whether this is a sarcasm or not.) I am sure everyone will be like 'HUH??' or 'watever...'...

Alright.. I have been waking up very early. Maybe because I am use to the timing there.. =(((

2009-03-06T02:25:00.002+08:00

People are telling me to update.. So heere I am updating..

I AM ONLY UPDATEING WHEN I AM REALLY FREE.. NOW VERY BUSY..

Thnx guys

2009-03-02T11:02:00.000+08:00

Alright.. I am trying to squeeze time here to blog before I fly off.

Sab and Tira:
Thank you so much for everything! You know what I am talking about. =)) I had fun. And thank you for the presents.

Fasha and Fad:
HEy! Thnx for everything.. Fad thnx for the punch and ur advices and basically whatever you have done for me.. Fasha, thnx for spending time with me aites!! =)))

Liyana:
Thnx for meeting me up.

Aisha, Kumpek, Azirah and more..
THNX guys!! =)))) For everything.. =)))

I know this is short. I know. But I got to go now and get things done for my last minute stuffs. =)))

I know some names are not mention also. So sorry!! Take care people.

Sick

2009-02-28T11:34:00.000+08:00

I am not feeling well. Kinda having migraine.

Not in the mood to do anything. I don't feel like going suddenly. AGAIN.

Sometimes, I just feel that I should stop. Sometimes, I feel it is ok. So, how?? You can really make me confuse you know..

Rather go China because.....

So happy

2009-02-25T21:15:00.001+08:00

After meeting Hui Shuen, was kinda happy. Haha!

I get to go out that is why I am happy. Haha!! =)))

You can make me smile by buying for me starbucks. Mocha Frappucino. LOL!!

I know I am going to miss who. Hahahahaha!!! =)))))

I am so happy. I can't wait to go Dublin. Haha!!

Hui Shuen's name have been appearing in my entries. Haha!!

Love you guys out there. =))))

Smile

2009-02-24T10:28:00.000+08:00

U can make me smile in an instant. If only that happens most of the time.

Receiving one text message from you, it can make me so happy.

Who am I suppose to trust? I have only you.

Is it so difficult to make me smile or happy??

Anyone knows how to make Faizah smile??

Why is it that Faizah is not as happy as last time?? Where is the happy-go-lucky Faizah?? Where is the Faizah who is serious when studying?? Why is Faizah changing so fast?? Why Faizah can easily make enemies more than friends this time round??

A lot of questions. But there is only one answer. If only "that" day didn't happen, I wouldnt be like this. Mum found a pen with my name on it. That name of mine was written by ..................

Memories starts to run in my mind.

Talked to Hui Shuen till late yesterday. I start to cry.

Stop

2009-02-23T22:34:00.002+08:00

I feel like shutting myself. Really. If I am a robot, I would want to switch myself. Only because I really can't take it anymore.

I doubt anyone understand.

Sorry.

Nothing much

2009-02-21T20:12:00.000+08:00

Nothing happened much.

Went to donate blood again.

It happened again.

Feelings currently: Worried

Thinking of: Sabeela and my QAS exam

Feel like: Texting Hui Shuen

I want to study but I don't know where to start.

I really miss him & her. Sorry.

Bored

2009-02-20T16:06:00.001+08:00

Feeling bored now. Going to school for exam later at 6pm.

After which, I am going to my Grandparent's house.

Tomorrow donating my blood again.

I just don't feel like talking to you now. Let me cool down and think about it.

Just that one name, can really make my emotions change instantly. So, please don't say that name. You know who. I need years to forget so let me do that.

Can for once, someone don't spoil my day?? Its bad enough. Thank you.

Faizah is trying to change. She needs support. Please.

There are always stuffs that I keep from people. So , don't think that you know me.

AND I HATE PEOPLE WHO SAY THAT

"THEY WILL BE THERE FOR ME WHEN I NEED SOMEONE"

BUT THEY DON'T MEAN IT

Don't ever give hope to anyone if you think that person is going to fail eventually. Just Don't. Because it hurts. False hope is the last thing that you ever want to do.

Happy!

2009-02-19T22:21:00.000+08:00

Total happiness. Went to study with Nicholas Zheng Heng Yinghui Leanna Jannah Wenkai.

Happy because:

I met lots of people today. Azirah, Afiqah, Kak Nurza, Fadhilah, Fasha.

Zheng Heng Nicholas Leanna and me went Arcade after studying.

I had 2 coffees. Mocha Frappucino and Double Chocolate Frappucino.

I got to do a lot of past year papers and improved myself.

I talked on the phone and crap with people.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am so happy. =)))))) People, please don't destroy it. Thank You.

Thanks to Sabeela who agreed to meet me at Starbucks yesterday. I get to drink my Mocha Frappucino. That drink just made me smile. =))))

Very happy

2009-02-18T23:05:00.001+08:00

I am very happy today. =)))

Alhamdulilah. Syukur pada Allah. Amin.

Countries??

2009-02-17T22:52:00.000+08:00

Country issues?? Haha.

Azirah once said that:

Bali is in Phillipines.

Now I am saying:

Dubai is in India.

JunJie said that I am going Berlin.

I wonder who else...

Happy or sad

2009-02-17T11:27:00.000+08:00

I was kinda upset with certain people. Nowadays, I feel hurt rather than to get angry with people. I am not sure why. I want to tell people my problems but I just don't know how. I prefer to just keep quiet about it. I don't know why.

For example: I actually wanted to talk about my problems but after typing all of it, I simply close the conversation. I don't know. Haha.. I did it to quite a number of people.

However, something happened yesterday. Like some "ilmu" came. Haha. Kinda making it better for me. Thanks to Miss Nurul. Ermm.. I bet no one heard of this name before because there is no need to. =))) She knows what to do when I was feeling really down yesterday. She literally helped me out. Telling me some religious stuffs. It suddenly cool me down. Well, I am just glad. Sometimes, like I have said before, I just need a malay friend.

I might not be feeling any better but at least it prevents people from seeing the frown on my face.

TO Sabeela: When I think about it, I think you can feel when I am really hurt. Are we related? Sometimes I just wonder. Only because you were so accurate. I know I have been very stubborn not telling whats wrong with me. But sometimes, I must be responsible for my own actions. So, that is why I find that it is only right if I try to solve it myself first. Haha. If that someone wants to listen to what I have to say, that someone must have the patience to wait for me to talk. Because it is not easy for me to talk. I do ask people for help but I don't tell them whats the entire problem. I feel that bits and pieces is enough for me to say. I guess that is me. It is not easy for me to let things out unless if I am really comfortable talking to that person.

I may be the person whom you call "Happy go lucky" teenager. But I feel that everyone ought to know I am also just another human being with relatively sensitive feelings. I might not show it but believe me, sometimes, people just don't treat me like a human being. In a way I am trying to say that people do treat me like a robot, dog and many more. The deeper your doings which is bad towards me, you will regret it people. I have yet to show my true colours. Just don't try me or rather I would say, Don't test my patience.

If you are nice to me, I would be the most extremely nice person you have ever known. But if your attitude towards me simply sucks, let me tell you, you can just forget about me talking to you nicely. So far, I have yet to do it to people. Preferably, I would say, Don't Try.

I love it when people gave me that hope that I can pursue what I needed to. But if you feel that you can't support me as your friend after giving that hope, then please don't give me that hope. It would only bring my level of courage and confidence down. Don't toy with my feelings. I am just a human being like you.

Alright, I am done here. You might think that I am letting out my problems. Actually, nothing is being said. I would say, this entry is mainly telling you that I am an unpredictable person. Don't expect things to turn out what it should be. Because it doesn't.

2009-02-13T20:17:00.002+08:00

Today, I am quite happy. Sometimes, there isn't a need to say everything. I realise I can do this. Just keep quiet. No harm. Had good fun with Yinghui.

I changed my card already. Haha! I can sign now. Lol. I am "rich".

I just have to be myself. Thank yOu.

2009-02-12T16:38:00.001+08:00

AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Why must you do this to me?! Asshole! Why?! What did I do to deserve this from you till this extend?! What?! What is wrong with you?! Everything is affecting me! I am very tired. What the fuck sia!

Everything I do has flashback memories of our friendship. Why? I treasure our friendship. WHY?? DAMN IT!!! FUCK IT!

I just have to be myself right? Difficult especially when I lose someone who is close to me. I lose 2 at one go. TWO! 2!! Damn it!

How can I not be like this?

Will Not Be Blogging For Now

2009-02-08T21:12:00.000+08:00

I won't be blogging for these upcoming days due to my busy schedule and Exams which I need to prepare myself.

The next entry will be after exams which is after 28th of February. That too, if I can make it because I will be flying off to Dublin the next day which is 1st of March 2009. So, will be rather busy preparing myself for this "Educational" trip.

Currently, my bed is very messy with lecture notes and my sister's assignments. Very unorganize and I feel like copying for tomorrow's test. Lol. =))) Temptations.

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. Am I regretting my decision to do that? Wait...... Now I am thinking. I believe if you dont want to see that person anymore, it is only because you don't want to hurt yourself even more. I hate to say this but someone made such a big impact in my life just to tell me that I destroy that someone's life.

I have moved on but sometimes, it just came back to me wondering why this happen. I know it would be better for both of us but must it be to this extend? I have been feeling great these few days, moving on with my life. Getting all the things that I wanted. Being the great person that I used to be. But in just moments, "unwanted" memories came back. It came back only because something similar happened when we were close friends. I have gone through a lot in friendships. A lot.

To Kak Sikin: You are not forgotten. Although you do not wish to see me or do not regard me as anyone to you, you will not be forgotten. Always pray for your safety. I just hope I could see you again one day, even if I have to stand far away from you. I just want to meet the sister who have always been there for me when I needed someone.

You are always in my mind.

My Horoscope

2009-02-06T22:12:00.003+08:00

SAb gave me a link about my horoscope. This is mine. Leo.

Leo Strength Keywords:
- Confident- Ambitious- Generous- Loyal- Encouraging

Leo Weakness Keywords:
- Pretentious- Domineering- Melodramatic- Stubborn- Vain

Leo and Independence:

Leo is very independent but they need something to control and someone to admire them and appreciate them. They are fully capable of being greatly successful on their own but they are much happier if they have an audience and a following of people who look up to them. They would prefer not be alone.

Leo and Friendship:

People are attracted to Leo's zest for life and their warm spirit. They have the ability to lift up one's spirits and provide encouragement when times are rough. Their enthusiasm attracts people, Leos are social butterflies, not because they want to be but because people always naturally gravitate and surround the Leo. Leos are very difficult people to not like, they are usually fairly balanced, realistic people. They never dwell on the past and they will think you are strange if you do. Some Leos might be too caught up in themselves and be very self-centered but they are never too self-absorbed to help anyone who needs it. They pamper their friends and treat them well. A Leo is the ultimate friend. They do not hold a grudge and they are very forgiving. They have respect and understanding of people's differences.

Leo and Business:

Business dealings are easy and successful for Leo, if they are in command and control. This can cause conflict in the workplace should the Leo not be in a position of superiority, but they usually get there eventually thanks to their powerful drive to succeed, in other words, they are excellent leaders because this is their kingdom they have to control, and they do it well. Leo has an amazing ability to get along with people and they work best in a group as opposed to alone. They can be very diplomatic in a group setting and can delegate people well, however Leo will not take orders. They need to give orders but with their enthusiasm and cheerfulness, other people do not have a problem taking orders from a Leo because they are never condescending and they treat others with respect and equality. Leos are full of drama, flair and extravagance and this reflects in the business world. They make an impact, they make a difference in the workplace and help to keep the parts moving in sync and iron out any problems before they arise. If the business fails, that means that Leo fails and they are extremely determined not to fail. Leo is the most extravagant sender of all astrology signs. They will not over do it but they will surround themselves with luxury as much as possible. They will never settle for second best.

Leo Temperament:

Leo loves the new and extraordinary, they despise dull, regular routines and if this is what they are faced with, they will simply create their own drama and excitement. This makes Leo prone to stir up a situation out of nowhere just for something to keep their vivacious temperament satisfied. Leo has an amazing ability to bounce back from any feelings of despair or unfortunate events. They do not like to be unhappy, it hurts their pride so they will take matters into their own hands and make things right again. Leos could come into conflict with other powerhouse type of people who will not take orders and not give an inch, Leos will not budge their opinion, they will understand and accept opinions of others but they do not take well to people to try to impose their beliefs on them. Leo most often have the temperament of a demanding, spoiled child but this is only shown if someone steps on the boundaries of their kingdom. They react this way because of their territoriality.

Leo Deep Inside:

Leos are extremely sensitive but they hide that very well. Leos love praise and flattery, their egos demand respect and adoration. Leo is all about pride. This can cause them to be self-centered but the warmth of the Leo heart keeps it under control. If Leo's audience (otherwise known as their friends) do not provide the needed appreciation, Leo is too proud to ask for it and they will suffer a hurt ego, but no one will ever know and they will suffer in silence. The secret of the Leo is that they need to be needed.

Leo in a Nutshell:

Leo is the lion, this well suited symbol represents Leo very well. They possess a kingdom which they protest and cherish. The are high esteemed, honorable and very devoted to themselves in particular! The kingdom could be anything from work to home to a partner, whatever it is, you rule it. Leo is always center stage and full of flair, they enjoy basking in the spotlight. A Leo always makes their presence known. Leo are full of energy that acts like a magnet for other people. Others are attracted to Leo's wit, charm, and what they have to say for they speak of things grand and very interesting. Leo will never settle for second best. They want only the best which can cause lavish excessive spending habits as they enjoy their life of luxury, which is all to easily justified by the grand and magnificent Leo! Public image is very important to Leo, with luxurious possessions and ways of life, this keeps the public image in high standing. They will do whatever it takes to protect their own reputation. Leos are very generous, kind and openhearted people. If a Leo is crossed, they will strike back with force but they are not one to hold a grudge, they easily forgive, forget and move on. Leos are always trying to make things right in the world, they have larger then life emotions and they need to feel like they have accomplished something at the end of the day. They react to situations with action instead of sitting back and thinking about it, they are not impulsive however because they look at the future and consider consequences of their actions.

What it's like to date a Leo Woman:

The first step is to give her praise and adoration. The relationship will never work if she does not receive this from you. Do not look at other women when you are with her, she has to be the only one in your eyes. The thought of competition with other women completely turns her off, for she is marvelous and grand and better then any other woman (in her eyes)! Be prepared however to compete with other men. She attracts men, deliberately or not, because of her dazzling personality. She makes a good partner because she gives undying affection and love and makes you feel really mood about yourself. She is kind and supportive with an adventurous streak, she is always fun to be with. Leo woman will dominate,. But not completely for she still needs the man to lead the way and give her the desired sense of approval, she looks up to her man. Leo woman is perfect for the man who is affectionate and has a strong character but not too controlling. She needs someone who is passionate about everything in their life and who strives for the best in everything, because so does she.

What it's like to date a Leo Man:

The Leo man falls in love easily and it usually does not last. This is because his emotional ideals of a grand and magnificent love affair quickly turn into reality. Leo man needs a woman who is grounded and in-tune with the realities of life so she can help him keep his feet on the ground. He may seem like he is casual and detached about love but this is not the case, he needs adoration and approval and if he receives this, he feels quite passionately inside and will treat her with amazing affection and be a wonderful cheerful companion. The Leo man appears to be a rock solid unemotional king but truthfully, he is very sensitive. He wants a woman who caters to him, not in a demanding way but he thinks he is entitled to this because of how great he is. Leo men are prone to be self-centered but underneath they are gentle and have lots of love to give providing the woman can give him what he wants. Leos get along with just about anyone and just about any type of girl is suited to him. The woman who caters to him and overlooks his faults (he thinks he does not have any) and the woman who does not nag at him will obviously have preference and a chance at a long term relationship. If the relationship lasts, eventually she will have to teach him that he is not the only great thing in the world.

How To Attract Leo:

Admiration is key. Admire them ands they will be yours. Leo is a fairly easy sign to attract they are very receptive to advances and come ons. Give them compliments, dish them out in handfuls because Leos never think a compliment can go too far. Even if you are faking it, they don't care, the simply love the attention. Be funny, Leos love to be entertained and they love to laugh. If you can make them laugh, you're good! Leos like the grand things in life, treat them to a lavish dinner or a cultural upscale event. Always have the best of the best and never try to offer them second rate. They think nothing is too good for them, they like everything posh so dress classy and nice, and have a good night on the town with the charming Leo!

Leo Erogenous Zone:

The back is Leo's most sensitive area. Most Leos have a well defined muscular back, compliment them on it while you lightly scratch your fingernails from the base of the neck down to their buttocks. They love a back rub or massage because to them it is being pampered. Get scented massage oil and give them a sensual massage and it is guaranteed to set the mood for a night of passion!

Sex With Leo:

First impressions would tell you that Leo is all about the kinky and novelty, but that is not so. They are deeply sensual and passionate and enjoy posh surroundings, such as candles and scented oils and lots of affectionate physical contact such as massages and rubbing. They like sex to be familiar, not necessarily routine, but they like to know what's going on. This is because Leo always has to be the best and if there is a suggestion or something offered that they have never done before, they would rather pass on the chance then attempt it and be only satisfactory. Leo has mastered the moves he know, so do not be disappointed with the lack of novelty and variety, because Leo is very good at what they can do, they are the best.

What I can say is it is not 100% true. Lol. =)))

sad

2009-02-05T19:07:00.000+08:00

I can't upload photos. Sorry.

I think my mood change a little bit today. A little of sadness here and there.

In school, I was totally cool except for the fact that one of my friends was feeling unhappy about certain things, I think.

On my way back home, I ride my bike and went to "deliver" a birthday card to Liyana. Since I will be flying to Dublin, Ireland on the 1st of March, and her birthday is on the 23rd of March, why not pass it to her now. So yeah, I did. Had a few plans but I am not sure whether it is going to work so I decided to cancel all of them. Its ok. There is always next year.

Wondering why I did so much for Liyana? Its only because she helped me a lot previously. So, its pay back time! =))) I am feeling rather sad about it though.

I am cool now. Hui Shuen called?? Random. It is about OITP. Still, total randomness.

Dennis told me to ignore because I have other people like Jackson, Yinghui, Chuzen and many more. =)))))

I love myself still though. =)))))

About Dennis:

He is an irritating and talkative "boy". Love to play pranks and jokes on people. However he is a very sweet and nice guy who always protect the rights for his friends. I like it when he stand up for his friends.

Anyway, I found a new friend. I didn't know after leaving all those, I could make a lot of new ones and let me tell you, it is even better than you. Hahaha!!

Deadly Happy

2009-02-04T20:04:00.001+08:00

I am not sure why I am so happy these few days. Feeling extremely happy because I meet extremely funny people everyday. =)))

Screwed up 2nd question for QAS Test today. Lol. I dont feel a bit sorry or sad about it. Maybe only because it isonly a test. I didn't put my 100% effort. Haha. It doesn't matter. Haha. =)))

I had my laughs today. I simply love how things are going as days pass by. =))) I love it. =)))

Simply thanks to my poly friends and not forgetting my secondary, primary and ETP friends. =))))

Happy Day

2009-02-03T22:52:00.002+08:00

FAIZAH is ready to TRANSFORM and FLY

Heyo!!

I am so happy that I am happy. Lol. =)))

Today, went to school with Sunhaj and Syafiq. =)) I had a good laugh and chat with both of them. Well, mostly with Syafiq since we are in the same course. =))) Morning was good.

I think I am getting better. Faizah is on her way to her destination, her goals, her LIFE. She is totally obsessed with herself. Haha! =))))

When I saw that ring (don't assume), I wonder why I messed up my life.

I wonder how I get attracted (to Ah Meng). Haha. When I think about it, I really find it funny. I am laughing to myself now only because I can't believe it happen. Haha!! =))))

One thing that will make me smile. Chocolates.

Here I come people. Faizah is back but she is on her way to continue her journey to further heights. She is going to achieve high. Hahahaha!! =)))

I am getting quieter?? I am cool babes and dudes.

Take care and good night people. =)))

She is just simply happy.

Never felt better

2009-02-02T19:18:00.003+08:00

This picture shows what I am feeling now. COOL that is.

I have never felt so good after those stressful moments before Trace Presentations. My mood changes totally. I will be smiling more often now. =)))

Anyway, I am getting ready for Exams and tests. =)))

I can't wait to go to Dublin. I cant wait for the upcoming FYP. Anything that you guys want to know about my FYP, ask me personally. I won't say it here.

I am looking forward to my LIFE.. I am very happy.. Totally over the moon..

The Best Is Always In Me

I Love My Mum
I Love My Dad
I Love My Siblings
I Love My Friends (Some exceptions)

I am very happy. Really. =)))))))

Kak sikin, you will get better. Always in my mind.

Walk again!

2009-01-31T09:37:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was simply awesome! I had my fun with my two HYPER friends. Tira and Sab, off course! Haha. So, I will blog what happen yesterday, from the start.

I went to school as early as 9.15am to print out my report datasheets. Finally it is done! =))) Then, maths lesson starts at 10.00am till around 11.45am. Nothing much for maths. Maths lecturer covered the whole syllabus and upcoming lessons will be tutorial sessions. After maths lesson, my group and I head down to Chia's office to do our presentation which should be held last week or yesterday. It was postponed to today and I think my group did well. The whole lot of us discussed the questions and tried our best to answer it. =)) And sure thing, we did it. =)))

Alright, done with school and lessons. Now, comes the fun part. =))) I should meet Sab and Tira around 1pm at commonwealth to eat long john. But I was late due to the presentation which help me up for about 5 to 10 minutes. Anyway, when I reach there, we had our laugh while enjoying our food. Its damn awesome! Really. And I could not finish my food. Why? Firstly, because I don't really feel hungry and secondly because I had too much laughs.

We didn't know where to go after lunch, but Sab came up with Chinese Garden. Haha! Random! =))) But still, we headed there and we walked a lot. Each time with NUR SABEELA, I sure have to walk a lot. Damn far lah! Anyway, we went up the pagoda thingy and we walked around the area.

Alright, there is this weird thing that happen. There is a bird who appeared from no where behind me. I was sitting near a bench. I don't know how to describe it but yeah. This bird actually walked towards us. This bird look as though it is wet but I am not sure though. Anyway, usually, birds fly away from us. However this particular bird, it came to us. WEIRD!

DIA DATANG!! =)))Lol. I can't stop laughing about this but I shall not mention because I don't want people to think I am ******....

After the walk, we went to MY SCHOOL!! Singapore Polytechnic. I am proud of my school. I had a briefing conducted by HO THIAM AIK about overseas attachment. I won't want to talk much about it.

After my school, we headed to SAB's school! Alright, Lasalle. It is one hell of a damn cool place to go! Really. No kid! I simply love the place, maybe because I have not seen anything like that before. But totally awesome. I was speechless when I went there or when I even stepped in her class. The buildings and all, its amazing. Really.

Finally, that is the end of my journey. =)))

I have something to say. In my school, the person who really show his care and concern from the start of the day is Jackson. Let me tell you guys why.

I feel secure each time he is with me. I feel good each time he is with me. I feel the concern he had for me. I will not forget PTN. He is the only one who actually cared whether I have eaten or not due to the food constraints that I am having. He really touched my heart. Seriously, no one ever cared for me this much as a friend. He is simply there when I needed him and he is just one in a million guy. I will never ever forget what he had done for me. I believe this does not happen to me only. What I am trying to say is that, his natural behaviour will simply touched hearts of people.

After reading this, don't get me wrong. I have always treated Jackson like a friend and I never like or love him or anything like that. He is just simply a very good friend who have done so much for me until now. If I could, I would want him to join me for the overseas trip.

Next will be Hui Shuen. (HEY IF U READ THIS DON'T SAY WHATEVER but just laugh)

Honestly, I don't know what happen but we seldom talk in school nowadays. However, we can sms. Lol. I don't know why. When we meet, we don't talk. But after we left each other then we sms. HAHA!! So weird. Stupid. Alright, that wasn't what I was trying to say.

Hui shuen is a very nice friend. Totally nice IF you are not close to her. HAha! Alright, that is not true. Haha. Well, from my experience, I always get bullied and scolded and punched and almost everything. Ouh well. Haha.. I still have those bruises. Haha. Well, previously, we simply just talk about anything under the sun. We laugh. We joke. We do anything that all friends do. LIKE DUH?? Actually i got nothing to say. Haha. Still, Hui Shuen is a very nice friend. Just like Jackson, Hui Shuen always thinks for me first. And I appreciate that. I really do. People seldom think about my situation but yeah, Hui Shuen is not one of them. I mean, she always think for me.. Always being there for me and I really appreciate those moments where she actually sat down with me at macdonalds while looking at me tearing from the start I let go of my problems.

Hui Shuen is also the one in a million friend.

I am glad to know this two people. I am very happy that they are the few bunch of people whom I get to know in my life. Thank you guys for all your help. I deeply appreciate it. Thank you. I can't thank enough and I don't know how to repay all those that you have done for me. But, I will always remember what you have done and seriously and sincerely, you guys touched my heart and thank you.

I end here. I will talk more about my friends in the upcoming entries. =)))

Take care people.

Cool

2009-01-28T21:15:00.000+08:00

Alright! =))))))

I am so happy this week. I get to go cycling this friday! Damn it! I mean damn it in a good way. HAHA!!! I am going cycling with Sabeela. I hope that Kumpek can make it though.. =))))

I am going to start studying from now on. Anyone wants to join?? Hehe. Might go study with Sabeela and Kumpek or maybe Hui Shuen. Not sure but will see how. =)))

Alright, I am going to try my best for this semester again! Like I have said, FAIZAH IS BACK!

Faizah is the best and will always be. =)))

Take care people. Don't mess with me. You will regret.

Good times and Bad times

2009-01-27T14:35:00.001+08:00

Dong Hao is hot sometimes when I look at him. oOps!

I miss nicholas. =(((

Alright, I have been smiling more often nowadays. It is a good thing. =))

Anyway, I had a great time with my whole family at the beach, West Coast of Singapore. Initially, wanted to overnight at the beach but in the end, the plan changed, we went back home at 3.00 in the morning. My arm aches a lot due to the amount of weight I carried. Actually, I carried only my "nephew"?? But he weighs a ton! Still aching but I have to do my project and reports still. =((((

I want to go cycling!! =))) Since Sabeela already mention it, I would never want to miss it!! Slumber party too. I am going to have my fun people! =)))))

I need to control my temper. I must start from the beginning again! Damn!

I am done here blogging. Take care people.

Days are better

2009-01-25T01:10:00.001+08:00

Me and Sab. I can't remember whan we took this photo. But what I know the Faizah you guys should know is in this photo and not the one below.

After that long chat with Sabeela at the rooftop of Esplanade, I didn't know things would turn out this way. I don't know how but I feel happier than ever, feeling confident in whatever I am doing. Maybe I was awaken by the words being used by her.

I have been smiling to myself lately. Didn't expect things to get better. A lot of good things are happening. I am just going to be grateful to Allah.

One thing that I have learned. If I have a problem, I should not have kept it. Especially when I know that particular problem will take over my life. After letting out the main particular problem, I felt so much better, so so so much better that I am leading a great life now. I am so much happier.

All I can say, Faizah is back people! She is back with Faizah is the best! Although that happens, it came back with temper. I need to control it like how I did previously.

No matter what, she is back! Thanks Sab! =)))

Faizah is the BEST and she will always be! =)))

Take care people! I am happy. =))) Only because I have moved on. Lol. When I think about it, I find it so stupid. Good MORNING!!

Happy

2009-01-22T23:41:00.003+08:00

I am very happy that I reached home at 2pm today. I frigging happy! Upon reaching home, I did some housework and went to take a nap. Haha!! =))) I slept from 3pm till 6.30pm. Do you know how happy I was?? Its been a long time since I did that! Haha! Now, I can smile. =))) I had a frigging good rest just now..

Alright, I am dying to put on a blazer! I am so crazy about blazers. I think I am in the wrong course. Damn it. Even the lecturers say so. Why am I in a science course? I think I know why. The reason is quite simple actually. My O level results shows that I am so much better in science. My language, sucks. English fail. Haha! =)))) But I guess, after getting to know my poly friends, I am so much better in English as the only way to communicate with them is by speaking in English.. =)))) haha!! =)))

Alright, I miss JunJie. Random

I look good in blazers. Randomness

Haha! =)))) Today is just so good that I feel so GOOD!!!! Haha!! Tomorrow, I can just laugh out loud! =)))))) Stay with me people. Laugh!

Bad day

2009-01-17T23:08:00.000+08:00

Very bad day today. I won't say much.

Met a family who operate a stall at Foodcourt 3.

I did a good deed on my way back home. "A pat on my shoulder"

Good night people and Take care.

Great day

2009-01-16T23:33:00.003+08:00

DENNIS TOLD ME TO TYPE OUT HIS NAME IN MY BLOG... SO HERE IT GOES...

MR DENNIS, your name has been typed...

Alright, I am so happy today..

Today, I went school for practical only. Then I didn't attend gems class.

So, went out with Jackson, Wenkai, Ying Hui and Leanna. We took lots of photos and had lots of fun! =)))

Here are the photos....

Alright, I love wearing blazers. I want to be a businesswoman. But I love science. Well, a lecturer told me I came to the wrong course. I won't elaborate further.

A close up on me wearing the blazer. It cost $159.00. Zara.

Jackson is trying to be a gay. Haha! Oops Sorry. =)))

AHAHAA!! Barney doing Push Ups!! =)))) DOWN! 1! DOWN! 2! Down! 3!

What was I doing back there? Haha.. Jackson is eating the sweets that cost $12 plus altogether.

I was shot by Jackson! Hahaha!! =)))
Wenkai look so gay. Hahahahah!!! Who laughs when they are being shoot at??

Do I look like Dora? LOL!!

Jack and WenKai trying to be cute........ WHEN THEY ARE NOT.. ahahaha!!

Besides Drums, I love guitars too. =))))

At last, I get to eat chicken rice, Chinese style but HALAL.. Lol..When we took this photo, everyone was looking at us. No kidding.

Trying to be Macho?? Nope... Can't make it. =p The 2 GUYS...

The three Ladies...

While waiting for Leanna at Outram. She went back home first before meeting us.

Alright.. After which, I went to meet Sab and Tira. Haha. Had a good laugh today. =)))

Here are the photos....

2009-01-15T20:43:00.001+08:00

Nothing much today.. Just too much laughter.. I was feeling extremely stressed out this morning. I need all the laughter I can get to release most of my stress. Seriously, I even thought of not going school and just jump down from a building. Wild thoughts.

Anyway, in school, I am really sorry for Wenkai. He tried to tell me about the datasheet but I turned him down badly. I could not take it anymore. If I were to listen about any of those stuffs again, I might just break down there and then. I wasn't feeling good at all.

My type of person is....

When someone really cares so much for me or when someone shows their concern towards me endlessly, I would do anything for them just to fulfill what they want. Anything. Even if I have to risk my life for that someone, I would do that. I will never let any their dreams fall. I want them to have what they want because I feel that they deserve it. They deserve all those that they want. Why? The care and concern they have given can never be compared to anything. They are just so wonderful. Simple saying, If you are good to me, you deserve better.

I appreciate each and every help that I receive from friends. I really do and that is why if I can help with anything, I would. For these 2 people that I know, they are the ones who actually gave me a new life. Basically, they are the ones who was there for me when Ineed them the most.

Should I mention names? I don't think this person reads my blog anymore, so I shall only type out one name. The other name, if you want to know, ask me personally. =)))

That particular person is Nur Liyana Alim. She helped me a lot. I would do anything for her. A good friend and as well as a good sister. Used to be close, but not anymore. Although our friendship is very far from the word "friend", I believe that I should not forget what she have done for me all this while. I appreciate what she had done for me and I thank her for that.

So Teri, what I am doing, is nothing actually. In fact, I have been wanting to do this.

And thank you Teri and Karen for helping me out. Your help is deeply appreciated. Really. If this plan works, I would have only you guys and your friends to thank.

Anyways, today ended great. I went back home with a bunch of crazy peeps. They always make me laugh.

One thing that I will never forget. Jackson is a very nice friend. He is so nice that i don't think you can ever find any guy like him. Seriously, the girl would be very lucky to meet Jackson.

Kak Sikin, I will never ever forget you. I think of you almost everyday. I miss you so much, sis.

Good night and Take care people.

Another day

2009-01-12T21:47:00.000+08:00

There are a lot of things to do. I need to finish up as soonas possible. I have my maths tutorials and more others to attend to. A lot of things are keeping me busy including work.

I am very tired and please, everyone or anyone please stop bothering for the moment. Let me live in PEACE! Let me do my work before attending to the rest of you guys. I have lots of things to do. So, let me finish it. I need to CHIONG a lot.

Not only that, a lot of things in my mind now. I am trying my best to calm down and try not to be so stress out. There will be major exams and tests coming up and I still have yet to understand certain modules. I need people's help. Anyone willing to help me out? I am really in need of help. Help me! The question I should ask..

"Anyone willing to save me at this period of time?"

Haiz.. I am not smart. You guys are so much smarter. You guys should be the one handling all these. Sometimes, you guys have to just do it right and tell me that IT IS RIGHT.

Never Mind. I am off now. Currently Unstable, Physically and Mentally.

Good Night People and Take Care.

BEST DAY

2009-01-10T22:26:00.001+08:00

TODAY IS THE BEST DAY!! AFTER SO LONG, I have been waiting for this day where I can enjoy my time, doing things that I like with my friends.

I was one of the student helpers in Singapore Polytechnic (SP). I was on duty at the Convention Centre, the "Donut" Counter. Haha! The lecturer called it as donut. Haha!! =)) Anyway, my job was to give information, based on directions and some information about the courses that we have in SP. It was fun!! I was there with Xin Yi, Ying Hui, Karen and Teri. However, after some time, Teri and Karen were missing. Hahahaha!! Bluekz! =p

Anyway, there were a lot of weird questions being asked from the parents that I could not answer at all. Well, each time they asked me those weird questions, I told them to ask the lecturers who were all around the area that I was on duty at. Hahahaha!! =)))

Dr Adrien Yeo, so far, the 2nd best Lecturer that I have met in SP. He always gets to his students' needs. Each time we told him that this can't be done, he would always be there to help out. I appreciate whatever he had done so much that I text him, showing my appreciation. He replied but I will not reveal what he say.

Alright, the best part.. The whole lot of us took lots of photos. WELLLLL, actually, I was the one who took lots of photos. Haha!! =)))) I will upload it once I received all the photos. =)))

After Open house, I went to grandma's place to celebrate grandma's birthday. =))))

Finally, home!! =))) Today, is the best day! Thank you for making this day happen. Thank you!

My poly mates who attended the Open house:-

Jackson Tan
Karen Toh
Teri Lee
Ong Ying Hui
Ji Wenkai
Samantha Seah
Leanna Lim
Seah Xin Yi

Janice didn't come because she was down with a fever. =((( Hahaha! Too bad she missed all the fun!

Alright, that is it! Good Night people.